Returning

It's a scary thought

Your return

I don't know how I'll deal with it

Will I sink back into your arms

Will I forget everything I've learned

And slip into the old comfort I know that you bring?

Will I forget everything, act like nothings change

And pick up my things right where I left them?

How will my world react?

Will my pillars fall again?

Crumble with my sanity, 

Will the colors fade away once more?

Where my days passed so slowly,

And I cried eternal, tears

Where I hid from the world to afraid/

Will I leave him?

Fall back into the trap of following you around

Being there only when you wanted to see me

Being just a body, standing there my soul consumed by you

Returning

Your returning the thought 

It rings in my mind, 

It haunts my dreams, 

My decisions

It shakes me endlessly,

Like I've just stepped off the moon,

My body sinks to the ground

Tarring up my knees

While I fall, 

The weight of your return crushing me

I learn and think of it, 

The reaction so strong I feel like I've been punched in the gut

The wind falls out of me

And my strength fails me as I cant find it

And the world slips away as i cant find breath

Returning

A blackout of my mind, 

simply brought upon to me by simple enough words

With no deep meaning behind it

"I'm moving back"

This time will be different

This time I know

I am who I am

I'm not your toy

I'm not your doll

I don't fear you

I wont let you control me

I wont do those things I didn't want to before

I'm strong now

My knees will hold

My stomach knots

Behind my eyes there is fear

But that is behind me

I'm all better now

The cure is at hand

When the illness returns

I will be ready for battle when the times come

This is no longer a home for the pain

Its been evicted, uprooted from my heart

I will be strong